my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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