So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize