weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
