Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
