dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
