Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
