I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My balls are so social today.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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