you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
pray to the hookup gods
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
