when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a hot homeless man
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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