thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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