I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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