The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
