Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
