How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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