the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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