Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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