Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
