is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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