hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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