Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I love having hate sex.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
