Tell her she can't have a vagina
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize