Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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