I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
