Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
