C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you will always have a special place in my vag
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
