This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
where am i from again
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
