Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize