i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
