ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize