Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
and you fell through a lawn chair
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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