I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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