are you still at the devil's house?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
