wat bout pragnant strippers??
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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