You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
