Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i need some magic done to my vagina
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize