Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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