Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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