My first STD was from a foam party
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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