I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We left the knife in your bed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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