i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
