Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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