i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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