you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
