Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize