the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
