i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize