You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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