Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
