I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
