Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
