i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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