im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
