he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize