he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
