O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
