i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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